MOVIE REVIEW: Wilhelm’s Scream

by Dai-van Kresz

We all know his scream and now a new biopic purports to tell the ‘true, un-authorized’ tale of the real Lt Wilhelm. Wilhelm’s Scream opens with a young Wilhelm going on his first deep space mission. The first act rolls by without much notice, with much of it involving Wilhelm and other crew members as they prepare for their long voyage. A real timeline issue emerges, as a lot of this prep is shown AFTER they get their orders to report in 2 hours for the voyage.

The real action starts when the crew investigates an abandoned vessel in deep space. You hear the first ‘scream’ about 2 hours in and from there, it becomes a cascade of screams. Where the first half was nearly devoid of screams; the second half has them coming continuously.

Instead of a nuanced or ironic take, the novice filmmakers decided it was their duty to deliver literally on the title. Never once, does the movie move away from this initial premise. Sub-plots and intrigues seem to pop up and vanish as if they were afterthoughts. If you were hoping for a compelling character study about a legendary figure, you’re in for a disappointment. Wilhelm’s Scream never develops a story or characters, instead running from scene after scene of Lt Wilhelm screaming about everything- I mean everything. Its four-hour runtime doesn’t help.

Grade: D-

Here’s what other reviewers are saying:

“It’s literally a movie about a guy named Wilhelm who screams about everything. Sorry for the spoiler but don’t waste your money.”
– Garon Nine, Cluster News Service

“Some people have referred to the filmmakers as hacks who lack creativity, which I say is nonsense. It takes an extraordinary amount of talent and creativity to take such a micro-fiber thin plot and stretch it out for 3+ hours. Absolutely incredible…Don’t see it by the way. Thumbs way down!”
– Rob0t 3BRT, Regulus Elektra Gazette

“It’s about a guy who screams. I really assumed there would be a more nuanced approach but no; it’s just a guy screaming about every little thing. They just took the title and did that. By the way, they insisted on shooting this POS on film for an ‘authentic period look’. So they wasted miles of film too. Zero stars.”
– Jack Burbank, Gamma Hydra Times